The Rise and Fall of the Boob Light: Why It's Time to Move On

Meet the boob light. This infamous light fixture has been staring down at us from its lofty perch with a smug sense of superiority, despite knowing that its single source of light is underwhelming at best.

If you think you’ve never had one in your home, I’m willing to bet you just haven’t been paying attention. Trust me, it was there. It’s always there.

The Origins of the Boob Light

The boob light, also known as a flush mount dome light, has been around since the late 1890s.

According to the internet and architectural historian Bo Sullivan, these lights were originally used in spaces where low ceilings prevented the use of longer fixtures, including theaters and train cars.

Over time, we've seen the boob light evolve into a variety of forms, colors, and sizes. We’ve got black boobs, white boobs, brass boobs, silver boobs, Tiffany boobs, modern boobs, smooth boobs, fancy boobs, rustic boobs, hanging boobs—the list goes on.

 And in today’s world, we even have the smart boob, and my personal favorite, the edgy boob. So many variations on the same theme. You’d think we’ve come a long way in 130-ish years. But have we?

The Downfall of the Boob Light

Sadly for the boob light, it’s become one of the most despised and ridiculed items in the interior design world. Yet, industrial designers continue to reinvent it over and over, and so the boob light endures, gracing homes with its presence to this day.

The eradication of the boob light has been an ongoing movement in the design world for quite some time now. And believe me, people will go to great lengths to disguise their boob lights. I didn’t think it was possible, but in some cases, people have actually managed to make the boob light look like the better design option.

For example, here, someone opted for a fruit bowl over her boob light. Now, while I understand the sentiment behind these DIYs, I’m not convinced they’re actually improving the situation.

When you’re spending time and energy hanging colanders from your ceiling, it might be time to consider buying a new light fixture.

A DIY That Actually Works: Replacing the Glass Dome

However, there is one DIY that I think is acceptable: replacing the glass dome with a shade. There are plenty of tutorials online explaining how to do this, using zip ties, conversion kits, and other materials.

If you’re up for it, this can be a great solution and a lot cheaper than directly swapping out the light fixture.

Why Do We Still Have Boob Lights?

So, it begs the question—if boob lights are so unpopular, why are they still so common? Like many things in life, it boils down to money. They’re cheap. That’s it; that’s the only reason. Boob lights are cheap. Short of screwing a naked light bulb directly into your ceiling, boob lights are about the cheapest light fixture you can get.

Builders buy them in bulk because they’re cheap, homeowners buy them because they’re cheap, and landlords install them because they’re cheap—and also because tenants aren’t likely to steal them.

Moving On: Alternatives to the Boob Light

So, while it may not look great, the boob light fulfills its purpose as an inexpensive overhead lighting solution. The fact that it’s a dust trap and a cemetery for dead bugs is beside the point. Obviously, design isn’t a priority for a lot of people, and that’s fine—it gets the job done. But today, my friends, we’re going to look at some alternatives to the boob light.

Flush Mounts: A Simple Swap

Okay, so you’ve committed to replacing the boob light, and you’re wise enough to know that hanging a colander from your ceiling probably isn’t the best way to go. Now what? Well, I’m happy to say you have options—many options.

For starters, you could go with a flush mount in any shape other than a dome. Flush-mount light fixtures sit completely flush with the ceiling, meaning there’s no gap between the ceiling and the fixture itself. Just do a quick search in any store, and you’ll find a plethora of incredible, non-breast-shaped flush mount lights.

Semi-Flush Mounts: A Perfect Compromise

Semi-flush mounts are a great compromise for areas where you envisioned a pendant light, but your ceiling is a bit too low.

A semi-flush mount hangs a small distance from the ceiling—not as low as a pendant light, but not completely flush either.

The bonus with semi-flush mounts is that they give your room more light than flush mounts, providing both direct downward light and an uplight effect on the ceiling.

Pendants: Elevate Your Lighting

If you’ve got enough ceiling height, you could opt for a pendant light instead.

Pendants are similar to semi-flush mounts, but they hang down lower, so you’ll need to consider your ceiling height before going with this option.

As a rule of thumb, you’ll want about seven feet of clearance between the bottom of your light fixture and the floor. If you have eight-foot ceilings, you could probably get away with a pendant that hangs about 18 inches, as you’d need to be six-foot-five for your head to touch the bottom of it. If your ceilings are higher than eight feet, you’ll likely be fine with most pendants, though it’s always a good idea to double-check.

Recessed Lighting: A Sleek Alternative

Another option is to install a recessed light in place of your boob light.

This approach is a bit more involved since it may require putting a hole in your ceiling, but strategically placed recessed lights can look fantastic, creating a clean and airy look.

Just be careful not to turn your ceiling into Swiss cheese, and you’ll be good.